i am

i am the girl
who walked city streets in the autumn
touching fire
riding the bus with my head
so close to your shoulder
amazed to find safety in reach

i am the girl
who made you laugh
about snow on my windshield
blanket statements
birthday wishes and
new year’s kisses

i am the girl
waiting for the crunch
of your footsteps in snowstorms
who treasured your tears
heard words no one listened for
cradled your heart

i am the girl
who kissed you
at the top of the stairs
in the nest we had built
in secret, in private
on side roads at midnight
on my couch in pigtails
in hunger and happiness

i am the girl
with whom you traced
spring’s first edges of life
and we,
laughing as love overflowed
in flourishing colour

i am the girl
touching your ache
finding you back
in all the hidden places;
taking you into mine.

i am the girl
in the long grass of summer
along the winding river road
under the stars with her head on your chest
and her heart in your hands
i am the girl
bright leaves of colours forgotten
falling slowly in the autumn winds

i am the girl with the scars
you said courageous
and beauty crowned me
when I was the girl

winter fast approaches
to seal me in cold
and barren places

i don’t want to be this girl
who spends her time
wondering what happened
who looks for you
even though we both know
you can’t return

(after all this time
and all that will pass
i will never see you
as anything less
than wonderful
and perfect and
he who taught me
to love
and be

after all this time
and all our goodbyes
i will not touch you
though we know
i know that
i am
the girl)


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